The Second Battle for Krusty Krab

“Hello? Pfft Pftt.. Is this thing on? Hello and welcome to the Annual J172551 Bashing of the Citadel.. (Cheers and applause..)”

We began to broadcast the above over local chat as soon as the timer was reset and we knew that combat, and the certain destruction of Krusty krab, was imminent. We had 13+ ships on dscan and no reason to think this was going to end well, so we decided we should at least have a little fun while witnessing the demise of our only structure left in space. And so began the Second Battle of Krusty Krab

“In this corner we have the Krusty Krab, a small Astrahus built by The Empire of the Phoenix a few years ago simply for planetary interaction and an outpost for wayward travelers. (Cheers and applause.. A few boos scattered here and there.)”

“And in this corner we have the challengers, a mass of at least 13 ships, waiting to attack at the proper time. (Boo.. Hiss.. A scattering of applause.)”

Several days before the Krusty Krab had lost its shields to a pilot that had participated in the destruction of other structures, so we knew this was not a random attack. As such we began to evacuate KK in anticipation of its loss to superior forces. But we did not totally abandon it and several pilots remained behind to witness its destruction and to help, if possible.

“So while we wait for the untimely destruction of the Krusty Krab, let's take a few moments to reflect on the history of the Krusty Krab and what it has meant to so many people..

(Studio plays a montage of images, depicting victories and defeats of the inhabitants of the Krusty Krab.) Then the voice over announcer begins…”

On the day of reinforcement we tried to bring in a larger ship for hole control but the ship and its pilot were lost. That was the beginning of the combat in the area. A few ships from Hole Control patrolled the area, attacking anything they could. It was clear they were setting up for an attack on the structure as they attacked anyone who entered our wh space, including a Sabre from the corp Outfoxed.

"The Krusty Krab was established a few years ago for The Confederacy of Travellers by its parent corporation, Empire of the Phoenix. Designed as the first structure outside of the Confederacies home base established in a C1 wh, it was to help the Confederacy expand into a larger and more productive wormhole corporation."

"However, it never gained the popularity of the C1 home system and never lived up to its potential. While some corp members used it as a stopping point to travelers further into wh space, it became nothing more than a wayward outpost, too expensive to keep up to its full potential; too cumbersome to remove."

Soon a  fleet of 13 ships appeared on dscan, but it was still almost a half hour till Kusty Krab was vulnerable again. The ships disappeared from dscan, replaced soon by two ships that were obvious hole rollers, as their names implied. Yet despite the appearance of two ships named “Hole Roller 1.0” the entrances to the wh remained opened. It was now mere minutes till the final blow would fall onto Krusty Krab and perhaps end our corp as a wh corp.

“The Krusty Krab saw a bit of a resurgence about a year ago when the Confederacy of Travellers CEO went into semi-retirement. He used the Krusty Krab as his hideaway and began to run solo missions and do PI in the area. The Krusty Krab was dropped from the rosters of the Empire of Travellers and disappeared to all but a few trusted members of The Confederacy. “

Soon the timer was reset and we had 15 minutes till our shields were repaired. As we waited the only ship in sight was one of the hole roller ships, which hung at a distance of 2,000 km was the station. As the clock approached 10 minutes we began to wonder if they were their to destroy us, or, by some chance, protect us. That question was quickly answered as Hole Controls ships suddenly appeared within range and locked onto Krusty Krab. The beginning of the end was at hand.

“The Confederacy, meanwhile, saw a resurgence in membership and activity and soon established itself into a more productive C2 and the Krusty Krab disappeared from memory from most of the corp members. Still, as a cherished hideout from the day to day grind of running a corp, it remained the summer home of Fozzie Stovall.”

“Despite its anonymity,  Kristy Krab still played an important roll for the Confederacy. Stocked with alts it continued to harvest the nearby planets for their goods, creating a passive income to the Confederacy which helped fuel and upkeep its structures elsewhere. While the Krutsy Krab may have not been given the recognition it deserved, it played a vital role in keeping the Confederacy viable for many years.”

Determined not to go down with a fight and let Hole Control know that we would stay till the end, we locked onto their ships and launched fighters. We continued to broadcast our soliloquy, just to let our attackers know we were here and we would not go quietly. The Krusty Krab took potshots at Hole Control’s fleet, but did little but lower the shields on several ships. Meanwhile Krusty Krabs armor was falling slowly as the enemy continued its assault. It was only a matter of time till we lost it, but we were determined to fight, and make our voices heard till the end. 

“Then, as with all things EVE, change was on the horizon. With the changes coming to player owned structures and the weakening of their defenses it was only a matter of time before the KK would succumb to the greed and stupidity of CCP. Yet, surprisingly, it was not the first of the Empire's structures to fall. Our main foothold in wormhole space J103339, which was an active and prosperous hub for the Confederacy, fell first. With its loss the Confederacy fell into disarray and the few surviving members fled to different parts of the EVE universe, some settling in the Krusty Krab.”

“But it was not to last. The Confederacy slowly lost its power and the Krusty Krab was just a haven for the few displaced members that had nowhere else to go. While the CEO established his alts here to reap the benefits of its planets, J172551 was never going to be the center of the Confederacy and the CEO never made the Krusty Krab his home again. All valuables were stripped from the structure and once again it was relegated to a quiet outpost churning away at the plants for ISK”

As we watched the armor crumble we noticed a few ships peel away from the fight. Then suddenly a mass exodus began as Hole Control peeled away from our structure and confronted a new threat, the corp Outfoxed. Soon a full fledged battle was taking place on our doorstep as two massive fleets faced off over our airspace. We watched as the two sides lost ship after ship, wondering which one would win, and would they be our destroyer when all was said and done. Soon it was obvious that Outfoxed would win the battle as Hole Control began to retreat. Would Outfoxed be our savior, or our new Angel of Death?

“So now, faced with overwhelming odds, the Krusty Krab is doomed to die, alone and forsaken in a hidden part of the galaxy. (A sad sigh from the audience.) It will not go down without a fight and will gladly shed its last missiles and fighters in defense of a dream that never came to be. Rejoice, victors, for defeating an already defeated structure…”
(Sad music plays as the montage fades out…)

As Outfoxed destroyed the remaining ships of Hole Control we received a message from Outfoxed; target any Hole Control ships as Outfoxed was there to defend us and were going to let us live. They admitted they were initially there to destroy us after they took out Hole Control but, after reading our broadcast, they decided to defend us as they were moved by our story. As the last remaining Hole Control ships exploded, our timer reached zero and once again Krusty Krab survived an attack she never should have lived through. And, true to their word, Outfoxed cleaned up their wrecks and left us in peace, vowing to return to help again should we ever need it. 

“So there you have it folks, the beginning of the end for this valiant but lonely little structure. As we watch the armor and hull collapse under the firepower of this massive fleet, we cannot help but to feel a little sad at what may have been. Here is to you, The Krusty Krab. While your life may die here, your contribution to our life will never be forgotten…”

The above was the end of our broadcast and should have been the end of this story, but once again Krusty Krab comes out of certain death unscathed and will live for a while longer. While we are under no illusion that the Krusty Krab can survive forever, it has led a charmed life and once again been lucky enough to survive against impossible odds. And never again will we underestimate the power of words, even in the EVE universe. Perhaps it is true, the pen is mightier than the sword, but it helps to have a friendly fleet to wield that pen in combat. :)